Fanzine:Hyde Park Calling
'can you keep the flag down, sweetie, you're being an asshat. I'm sure you're gonna get another point'
gulp. That was DM berating me. Flag Mistress herself, and i'm being an asshat with it. Christ, how did i get here?
We first met outside the gates 9 hours earlier, 30 minutes before they opened and we had ran to the front. Outside i recognised smudge and was introduced DM, Mo, daftart and Jo. Then the flag was handed over, cameras appeared and the moment was captured. We were joking around with mock-sincerity and pomp. I was smiling and joking, but inside i was thinking 'oh crap. this is it.' The expectation and responsibility weighed heavy.
'What if he doesn't see it? what if i'm not near enough? what if i drop/stain/lose the bloody thing? What if i forget to hold it up? what if what if...'.
hannah arrives, we sit in the sun, occasionally standing up and jostling for a couple of minutes before sitting down again..... There are crew on the stage soundchecking; the GONG is struck and a shiver runs down my spine. the wonderful daftart tells me later that she could feel a tear welling in her eye at that moment. The crew run through a passable 'can't stand losing you' before going into 'back in black'. I hear a bloke behind me in the queue telling his friend that that is The Police running through an AC/DC song. i don't correct him.
the gates open and we all run to the front. we've got a 7 hour wait. .......we sit pretty much centre stage and look after each others space when the need to pee/eat/stretch legs arises. The hot sun is kind enough to hide behind cloud every now and then so it's not too hot.
There are some bands on in front if us. They start with the 'mickie free electric orchestra'; a long name for a three-piece led by a sub-standard lennie kravitz-looking 'dude'. He is a twat with a feather in his hat, tattoos and shit jeans. He does a cover of 'wild thing', slowly, and keeps asking us if we want to rock. If i was a 6 year old boy i might be impressed. He shows us his guitar which gibbons from ZZtop gave him, he widdles for a bit and asks how it sounds. I shout 'it sounds a bit shit, mate, to be honest'. He ignores me and continues fret-wanking for another 30 minutes.
An acoustic trio come on. Alright. 3 hours to gong.
The Bangles come on. I think 'i would'. 2 hours to gong.
Starsailor come on. I wish they hadn't despite their affable frontman. 1 hour to gong.
KT Tunstall is vocally a bit tired but have obviously done a lot of festivals and she and her band put on a good show.....
Danny Q arranges gordo's table with the sprays and stuff, he is wearing his bass. He goes behind the curtain wearing Sting's bass. Then reappears without the bass. They must be on in a minute. gulp. I remove the flag from its three protective layers. Right, do i hold it up as they come on? do i wait til they finish 'message'? Christ, I really need to piss. No chance..............
the crowd goes nutso. Copeland is there with his mallet teasing the gong through its vibrating crescendo, he points at Andy. We're off.
I'm holding the flag up. Can he see it? Can he see it?
Then. He. Sees. It.
A Copeland eyebrow is raised. He slowly and deliberately points at ME. WE have eye contact. I don't know what to do. I point back. The moment's gone. The tune continues. I look at Mrs Smax 'Did you see it?'. I look at DM. She smiles knowingly.
Fuck. Right, here we go then. He points again. I nearly fall to my knees. I kinda crouch down so i'm below everyone, it gets darker, the sound muffles and i can just hear my own voice saying 'fucking hell' over and over while laughing to myself. I cannot believe it. All of a sudden this enormo-tourzilla, years of fandom and forum-joy have culminated in simple contact between two yuman beans. All that STUFF concentrated into one second of contact. Pluto says 'it's all about you baby'. Meg warns me that i'm probably going to piss myself before the evening finishes. daftart offers me kleenex.
'do you wanna siiiiiing'. Walking on the moon.
Mrs smax says that she can see him looking at us. I'm sure he puts in a couple of extra quiet flams in while looking at us and smiling a little to himself.
He. points. again. I point back. All the nutters point back and there is a roar in my ears as smudge, dm, mrs smax and daftart all scream at once. He points again.
We become aware of Gordo talking and stewart's head whips to the right to look at gordo. Gordo is talking about 'the flat was over there in bayswater, thank you stewart for bringing me to london'. Stewart hasn't heard him 'cos he was fooling around with us. Gordo looks front again and, i swear, looks in the flags general direction. Gordo appears not happy.
Andy and stew have a few moments of relaxed interplay. stew points his stick at andy as the end of one tune is weird. Something happens in can't stand losing you, andy is surprised by a bridge part arriving, stew smiles. At the end of one tune stew and andy build up to a finish (blannnnng, goomsh), and take so long about it that gordo walks to the side of the stage and sits there, waiting for them to finish. There are many times when stew does something which draws an involuntary cheer from the nutters. No percussion just backing track at the start of 'king of pain', weird. There are a few moments where stew does something which provokes a reaction from gordo. I think i see the 'death stare' at least twice. But he has his 'fun' moments too; a big slap during 'so lonely', and some dog impressions. But no CHA! despite the presence of CHA balls and numerous bracelets.
I think so far I can count 4 points and one mass-point relay.
Suddenly, i realise that it's nearly the end of the set. Right. Up goes flaggy.
And again. I see it on the big screen as they pan the audience. The camera zooms in on it.
And again. I'm pogo-ing up and down while trying to hold the flag so it's visible. Earlier I had worked out that it was visible to him when i just held it across my chest, so for most of the night i have done that. Sod that now.
Up again.
'can you keep the flag down? You're being an asshat. I'm sure you'll get another point, sweetie.'
fuck! sorry, sorry, i turn and apologise to DM, she smiles beatifically, we hug.
Andy is mugging away for 'next to you' . Stew walks at him, arms out-stretched doing his best boris karloff (Despite being at the festival, henri doesn't join them for the last song).
The last song. In the UK. Ever.
They move to the front for the bow. Stewart is the last to leave the stage. He stands there for a while with one fist in the air and the other on his heart.
Then he points again.
Then he leaves the stage.
stunned.
I gotta say a massive THANK YOU to the one and only DM. She knows what it means so i won't try to explain.
And all the supporting cast; mrs smax (who was very patient with me and took some great photos), smudge, daftart, MO, meg, pluto, hannah, Jo, and everyone else who introduced themselves to me and said stuff like 'did you have the flag tonight?'......
fanx.
(ETA: Andy pointed too right after the last bow but I missed it at the time...)
